Ribs doesn't write much

It's been a year since I wrote here,
It's time to make amends.
The only problem is, my dear,
That I've got bugger all to say.

And that's the truth. But that shall not stop me, no siree bob. My head is constantly spinning with thoughts and ideas and general nonsense, so I think it's about time I wrote some of them down. Here seems as good a place as any.

I'm trying to get on with the first draft of my book, which is inching along slowly. I want to write a monologue, but haven't quite decided on the character or subject. I'd also like to write a play. I should just get on with one or all of these projects but I'm rendered impotent by indecision and procrastination. I probably need a good slap.

Choose Any Key

We've all seen them - listings on eBay that seem a too good to be true. Someone I know very well (I shan't name and shame them, but feel free to share guesses) fell foul of such a listing yesterday. Not a major disaster considering the cost of the item, but definitely worthy of a poem:

Choose Any Key

Buy It Now, just 99p!
Now, that is a bargain.
Buy It Now, just 99p!
It is the one I wanted...
Buy It Now, just 99p!
OK, I've bought it, it's mine.

Buy It Now, just 99p!
An as-new Mac keyboard.
Buy It Now, just 99p!
3 to 5 days to get here.
Buy It Now, just 99p!
Hang on, the seller's emailed...

Buy It Now, just 99p!
"Trust you read the details?"
Buy It Now, just 99p!
"In which case, please let me know,"
Buy It Now, just 99p!
"Which key it was that you're wanting?"

Watching trash on TV

I like watching TV. To be more exact, I like watching soaps and English detective programmes. I do enjoy choice shows from the US too, like House and The Big Bang Theory (I urge you to try the latter if you are at all geeky), but if I want to relax and forget about the world, it's EastEnders, Casualty and Lewis that are my escapist pleasures.

With this in mind, here's today's poem:

Trash on TV

I have a confession to proffer, 
It's a cheap little habit, nay free,
But I totally can't stop watching 
all the trash that's on the TV.
I know it isn't terribly highbrow,
But I care not one little jot.
I'd rather be watching EastEnders,
than learning about atoms from Cox.


Yesterday I did the ironing,
In front of old friend, Casualty,
But I got so engrossed in the action.
That I burnt a hole in your T (shirt).
Now come on, don't get all arsey,
It 'twas but an accident.
Next time I'll watch something quieter,
With more of a scholarly bent.


But really, who am I kidding? 
You're out tonight, the plasma's all mine!
I've got the iPlayer primed and ready,
And I'll be square-eyed at least until 9 (or maybe even later). 
Tomorrow I'll buy a TV guide,
And plan something clever to view,
But today I'll eat twiglets and chocolate,
And perhaps watch a Lewis or two.